Allllrighty! I’m approaching the end of may lackadaisical week of scribbling what happens to be on my mind at the second I sit at the keyboard. It’s handy to have excuses when things don’t go the way you imagine they should.

I look forward to returning to my schedule as hectic and jam-packed as it can be. Vacation gets old after a week I’m finding. Also, having gained probably ten pounds in ten days has demoralizing effects.

As with all else, there must be a balance. It is easy to fear the rebound, but instead I relish it in order to regain equilibrium. This is not to say my ideal is wildly swinging a pendulum existence of labor and sloth. But neither is my goal a steady diet of beige doings.

Flatline or peaks with valleys, whatever your style, it’s important to recognize it and tailor your life to it. If you prefer daily meditation and Vulcan logic to 80 hour weeks and beach vacations, so be it.

Energy is something that we all have in limited supply. So figure out how you like to use yours and adjust accordingly without fear of self-honesty.

Why This Now?

I find it funny that there are people who still think their advice is verbal gold for all blessed to hear it. Those who forget that their DNA, upbringing, and luck are completely unique patterns which can hardly be applied elsewhere.

That being said, I think it is equally silly that there are people who claim that there is no good, tried and true advice, because of the randomness of life. These folk relish the philosophical cop out of being certain to existential chaos.

Both are wrong and for similar a similar reason. They are too self involved. The surest sign of ineptitude is an over involvement with one’s self and specific situation. Either in giving advice or seeking it, those without imagination beyond their current state will always remain the same while life remains dynamic.

I am hardly a professional advice giver, and am far from a perfect listener. But one thing that does keep me ahead of the curve of pessismissim is actively seeking advice. I can make fun of it, despise it, become enamored, or reinforce existing beliefs. All that matters is the constant seeking. Within the practice of curiosity is a built in humility, without which learning does not occur.

Without learning, or the attempt, I’m not sure why I’m here.


Diffusion of Skill

I can appreciate that games make life more interesting. For some that’s dating, for others it’s investing/gambling which are often more similar than not. For most all males over the age of three, the presence of sports becomes a dominant obsession.

I don’t get emotional about sports. When I was eleven the stakes were different. But nowadays, the only team I even remotely care about, the San Antonio Spurs, could lose the finals game and I’d sleep just fine. Though I might feel a twinge of pain. Any other team I could care less.

One thing that keeps the Spurs interesting to me, besides the fast paced skillful game that is basketball is their story. Often without star players who hog the ball, the Spurs manage to be one of the winning-most teams.

This is where I elaborate on what the secret sauce elements are that add to their historically winning record. But I won’t, because, I don’t follow sports.

The one thing I do know, is that the Spurs have redundancy built in. By utilizing several medium-well players instead of one or two stars, they have a more robust chance of always being good.

If the star players on other teams have a bad night or are injured, well, there goes the farm.

You can imagine what this means for your life. And I’m sure there’s an old saying about baskets and eggs that would provide the codified lesson of diffusion of investments and success.


I realize that writing this week has been a bit underwhelming on my part.

At a point, doing something because I said I would is not a very convincing reason. Inevitably doing something just because at one point you said so can be poisonous.

But there is something very empowering about having an ideal and chipping away at it. Some days the chips are cornflakes, others they are calving glaciers.

More often than not progress doesn’t take an earthshattering form. It is simple, boring, repetition that is manageable.

Uno y Finito

Me, I’ve always been a one and done kind of guy.

Through school I’d study one time, usually during class when the teacher was talking, or I’d listen to their lecture and be done. Going home and doing more work was redundant.

I’m not saying this because I think I was abnormally intelligent. I was lazy. I would get A’s often enough, but a lot of B’s and the occasional C as well. If I had “dedicated” myself, as many teachers over the years told me, I could have gotten straight A’s. Why this was a desirous goal was never too certain.

Inherently, I am lazy and hate doing things twice. Leave the fine detailing to the editors and pencil pushers.

I can’t say I have entirely changed over the years either.  Nor do I want to. Though I have certainly gained more appreciation for being thorough when it comes to the things that matter. Namely my job and my work. Especially if the two overlap.

I’m happy to write multiple drafts and versions if the writing is my creation. It’s when I am ordered to do something that lackluster Kelly comes out and says “Why?”

He’s a funny guy.

I’m not sure why I’m like this. It is an immutable fact of my nature and always has been. The act of creation and learning is far more pleasing than going through with a fine-toothed comb. Even if the work is of my genesis and sole effort, I still have the uncomforatable twinge when it comes time for a review and edit job.

I think there is a virtue in being lazy. Lazy towards all the things that don’t make you come alive and make your ass go numb in a chair. Instead I try to focus on my strengths and being so obsessed in a project that I forget I even have an ass.



failure+discipline*time= success 

The real banana is how much you’re willing to do with how little you have at first.

If your  success is contingent upon success, youre gonna have a bad time.

failure+discipline*time= success

You don’t need a record label to make a record. You dont need a million dollars to make a million dollars.

You just need to make something useful. If only for yourself. Let everyone try and makes sense out of it if they must.


Quality Control

I don’t have any inspirational or tough love advice to write here today. Nor is that my intent for this blog to be. That just happens to be the kind of advice I’d like to get and rarely do. So many days, I have to write it to myself. Pitiful? Perhaps. But I won’t ignore the instinct until I have better things to write about.

I have no real complaints today that are top of mind. I’m full of real Texas BBQ, presents to wrap, movies to watch, and small talk to avoid. I suppose I could try and make problems, but creation doesn’t seem to be forthcoming today.

Writing can sometimes feel like trying to squeeze oil from corn. Somehow it happens, but it doesn’t quite seem natural.

And some say if you have nothing to write, you shouldn’t write at all. I tend to agree with that sentiment for bigger projects and speaking in general. However, daily practice and keeping a streak are more about quantity. Quality only comes from luck or repeated diligence. And quality is just something I don’t have today, but I do have the ability to try.

Merry Christmas y’all.


An Honest Reboot

Here’s one way to become a CEO, just print up some business cards that say you’re a CEO. Done. You can go to all the conferences and open bar events with the pride that you have a more impressive title than 97% of everyone there. For some people, that’s enough.

But for the rest of us who aren’t sociopaths and want to be able to look into our own eyes in the mirror without guilt, empty labels are pithy and fleeting.

And to be frank, most people who claim they want to be CEO’s don’t actually want to be a CEO and have never watched one in action nor understand what the job entails. These chief craving individuals do not want the responsibilities of power and leadership, they want to be immune from criticism.

The desire to be the head of a hierarchy is an old human instinct. People still tell kids they can be anything they want, including the president. Who the hell actually wants to be the president? Have you ever actually met an aspiring commander in chief? Me neither, but I have met those with micro-delusions of grandeur, including myself.

At one point I had business cards with the letters CEO printed under my name. It was even more deliciously conceited as I had a forward-slash next to CEO that read “Head consultant.” I was impressed by myself. And maybe a few other people were who read life at face value. But I wasn’t fooling anyone who could actually make that title mean something. Nobody hired my business, AKA me, to help them because my balance sheet only had a fancy made up title as an asset.

I never intended to fleece anyone. I truly thought, and still do, that once one person trusted me with their business I would have worked my ass off and helped them out, thus earning my title. And if life worked like a Hollywood movie, that may have happened. But that is not how to earn business, a title and leadership credentials.

I believe that nobody who calls themselves as a leader should be followed.

To gain trust and esteem requires one thing. Making other people’s lives better. This is as true in sales as it is in kitchens as it is on farms.

The objective is to be worth ten times to other people what you take home. Realistically, you may only be worth one and a half or two times your effort, which is understandable and normal. There’s nothing wrong with being normal except that normal is a pretty boring story to tell.

I do not desire to lead a team or a company. The goals of my past were flights of fancy and excuses to get away with lying to myself. It’s a funny thing about humans, when we don’t know what we want to do we always default to being vaguely important. At least in our own minds. Rockstars, head chefs, actors, politicians. Anything consisting of fame, glory, and riches will do when we’re not even sure what we want to have for dinner that very night.

What we never want to really grok is how to tactically work towards those goals. Usually because this means we have to uncover our source programming, inspect it honestly, and find a flaw that would lead us back to square one.

The sunk cost from years of perpetuated self-lies is a powerful form of resistance. One that many choose to take to their graves than undergoing an honest reboot.

And this is where making an interesting life and story lies. The uncomfortable, cringe-inducing pits where learning can occur. Only from learning can value be proffered and only then can a title be earned.

Joyous Human Doings

Not gonna lie, today’s a challenge. My holidays this year have been somewhat waylaid by distant step family that swooped in and absconded with my desired relaxation time.

I was pretty incensed at first. How dare these miscreants swoop down and steal my one true desire: not making small talk and having a bed to myself. I got three hours of sleep last night between a stiff cot and a couch. On my first and only vacation of what has been the most mentally straining year of my life.

The reasons to be angry and indignant are abounding. Yet, this is exactly what I need.

There are not breaks when you’re an adult. Nobody gives a shit that you’re clever and precocious any more. The most valuable trait of being an adult is not complaining.

Not to say you can’t mark yourself and other things for improvement. But, by this point in life, you should know that not everything is going to go your way and if you let all the unjust whims of nature skew your inner happiness, well buckle up brother. You’re going to be in for a hell of a shitty life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to sit here and say, “Gee, isn’t this a great lesson to learn!” While I have bags under my eyes and relative strangers in my bed.

But, you know what? All that matters is why I came here in the first place: my family, friends, and most important food.

As the gumbo my Mom, brother, and I just worked together on digests, I can find the worthwhile in the unfortunate. And that is all being a joyous human is about.

The New Puritans

The modern members of the blue tribe are so hysterically close to resembling the Piously Puritan missionaries, it’s mind boggling.

And for all our sakes, let’s hope the never figure it out.

Luckily I don’t have to explain myself too deeply as I am writing this on my phone at the gate as my plane is boarding.

Thats right, my life is exciting…

Anyways, every time I see someone shouting about damnation of the soul these days, it’s typically the college educated democratic voter class.

Whether it’s the scourge of consumerism, sports viewing, or tech innovation, we are reminded by the clerics of fake tolerance that the devout must be wary of the temptations offered by affluence.

Much like the acetic monks of old who relished composting and baking bread, the modern preachers of fake tolerance eschew all that could be related to newness and profit. Except their iPhones, name brand/boutique clothes, fixed gear bicycles, and the myriad other devices crafted by all they despise which make their lives easier.

If you are to be stopped and berated on the street these days, it’s no longer for loose sexual morals or miscegenation. More likely you’ll be treated with indignance for driving a luxury car, having children, or eating a steak.

Deriving fake moral lessons from historical events is now also the domain of our liberal elite majority. The tulip mania of 17th century Holland is a stark reminder of how capitalism ruins economies we are constantly reminded. Never mind that Holland’s economy was not even remotely touched by the insignificant blip of a few tulip traders. Ironically, the moralizing made out of tulip mania was a branch of Calvinist zealots trying to gain parishioners by moralizing through lies.

Sound familiar? No, not if you are a mustached closest misogynist vegan who was with Her. You’ve got posturing to do, people to convince, morals to proselytize, and donations to accrue. And, most ironically, atheist ideals to profligate while decrying the shallow fear mongering tactics of the religious.

I think there’s a lot more that puritans and liberals agree on than disagree and woe to us if they ever find that out.