I’m doing it. The final part of the trinity of doing. Let’s do this thing. Just do it. My god my eyeballs are tired. I haven’t slept well this week, and last night a pleasant earthquake at 2:40 AM made sure the streak continued. But! That’s neither here nor there.
Tonight we discuss, the third part of doing anything: self belief.
For a quick recap: We talked about about setting a goal that means something to you. Then chipping away at the goal regularly if not daily. And those sound like all you need to do anything, right? Wrong. At least for most of us who get tired, bored, depressed, have multiple interests, were not endowed with trust funds, etc.
The third ingredient to doing is making sure you treat your goal and discipline with respect. There is no surer way to corrupt any expedition with negative self talk. You will make mistakes. You will even choose a goal that changes over time, seemingly making all your efforts for naught. That’s ok. You’ve just begun and you can’t assume failure before you’ve charted any territory.
This all seems pretty obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people not only lack positive internal thoughts, they have horribly demeaning self talk. Then they wonder why nothing good ever happens to them.
It’s alright to be wrong, mean, sour, and bitchy. Just don’t be that forever. Be careful to not be ashamed of the mistakes you make. You will be an asshole from time to time when trying to figure out who you are. To yourself and others. So long as you don’t get megalomaniacally obsessed with the power of cruelty you’ll be fine. You can absolutely feel guilty about mistakes you made, but then you have to let it go eventually. Shame is permanent, guilt is temporary.
You are on the path to doing. You don’t have time to be ashamed and barely enough to feel guilty.
Inspiration, self-belief/confidence, is a tricky thing in that it’s fake until it’s not. You don’t know for sure if you can achieve the goal you’ve set. This is why you have to muster up all of your positive inside parts and tell yourself the hardest two words strung together in English: I can.
Then be prepared. The shit will come hailing down. There is never a more hazardous time in doing something when you actually believe you can do it. Seemingly everything that can go wrong will. New responsibilities will arise. You will change as you grow and it will be easier than ever to justify easing up on your discipline as things are going well.
Do you think Stephen King stopped writing once he got his first book published or had a family?
Did Martin Luther King stop marching once the city of Montgomery acquiesced to the bus boycott or he received death threats to his family?
The more you tell the universe you are going to do something, the steeper the incline gets. It’s a perverse and twisted truth of nature. This is why many people don’t get the things they claim they want. And that’s fine. Honestly, in some cases you might have to pivot your goals because you have learned that they don’t make you happy. That’s ok too.
But when you know deep down what is for you, then you have to believe that you deserve it. Repeat it every day. Write it down 20 times a day. Put post it notes all over your house at eye level that say ” I will do….” it, whatever it is.
Maybe don’t tell a lot of people your goal as psychology has recently come out with experiments revealing that people who talk too much about their intent often quit sooner. Also another fun perverse universal fact.
Instead, keep it to yourself. Your head will already be down in daily discipline or your eyes will be gazing ahead, so keep your mind in the present and believe in the person you are and want to be.
It sounds cheesy because it is. That’s just another layer of resistance to keep you from doing, especially for guys. God forbid you are seen as having feelings, dreams, and aspirations, especially when they could fail and you might be perceived as…gasp, weak!
There is nothing more impressive than trying and believing in your effort. Success or not, you will build up the right muscles and callouses to climb even higher next time.